It’s natural to feel upset when you divorce. When you marry, family and friends are there to celebrate your wedding. Divorce feels like a letdown. Even when you negotiate a strong settlement where you keep the marital home and your business – all while protecting your children – the day the divorce papers arrive is often an emotionally rough day.
Many spouses mourn the marriage that could have been instead of feeling relieved that the marriage has come to a logical end. Lately, however, the feeling that your divorce day is a day to cry is being overtaken by people who see the receipt of their official divorce notice as a day for celebration. Ex-spouses have numerous ways to celebrate and take control of how they respond to the end of a marriage.
How are newly single people celebrating divorce?
WSLS Channel 10 News recently reported on a new divorce celebration trend that is going viral – yard signs. During the pandemic, many people have used yard signs as a way of celebrating life milestones for family members while avoiding social distancing. One industrious woman, Amanda Higgs, started her own yard sign company. She has yard signs for birthdays, newborn announcements, and graduation.
Amanda is willing to create signs for almost any event, but one request threw her for a surprise. Friends of a recent divorcee asked her to create a sign that said “Divorced AF.” His friends thought the sign would help him loosen up and laugh a bit – especially since his particular divorce process was quite long. She made the sign, which then went viral on social media. Amanda thinks that the ability to laugh releases a lot of tension that accompanies many divorces.
Another divorcee asked Devon Phillips, who has his own sign decorating business, to create a divorce sign. Ms. Phillips was in church when she noticed that her website was getting a lot of traffic. She soon learned that the client had taken a picture of the divorce display she had created for his yard. The post went viral on social media and was picked up by vloggers. One vlog has more than 70,000 views. The sign, in glitter, said “FINALLY DIVORCED” and “Straight Outta Marriage” – with balloons and a drink.
The divorcee said that he wanted the display not to spite his ex-spouse, but to celebrate a new beginning. He said, “I feel like if you’re breaking a bad bond, you should celebrate it. You’re starting your life over. It was just a celebration for me, myself.”
Divorce Magazine has the following divorce celebration suggestions:
- Take a vacation. Well, the magazine suggests a cruise, which may be problematic during the pandemic. Still, making plans to travel when it’s safe to do so are a good way to unwind and focus on starting over.
- Have a divorce party. Again, safety is first. When you can, a party with close family and friends is a good way to enjoy your new freedom and connect with the people who care about you.
- Get rid of your marriage certificate. Check with your lawyer first but, generally, you can destroy your marriage certificate once you’re divorced. You can make a game of it by throwing darts or shredding it.
- Get rid of your ex-spouse’s phone number and email address. If you don’t have children, then there’s no reason to stay connected. As long as you have no intention of staying friends, hitting the delete button can give you some pleasure.
- Do things you know your ex would hate. Now’s the time to enjoy those dance lessons, taking up golf, going to a museum, or just spending time with old friends – things you know drove your ex-spouse up the wall.
- Try a divorce cake. Just as there are signs for every occasion, there are cakes for every occasion. Make (or buy) the cake with the icing, ingredients, and a message you love. Cakes are a way of remembering your divorce – with or without people who care. If nobody’s around, your cat might like a sliver – but don’t feed chocolate to the dog.
- Sell your wedding ring. Some people like to hold onto their wedding rings. If thinking of the marriage gives you angina, sell the ring or pawn it to provide a little extra fun cash.
Divorce Club even recommends that you write a song about your break-up and divorce, and become rich and famous like Adele. Even if you don’t hit it big, the point is to use the divorce as a means of doing something fun and creative.
Why celebrate a divorce?
Celebrating your divorce is a part of the healing process. The celebration makes a statement that you acknowledge your marriage is over and that you’re ready to start the next phase of your life – getting to know yourself, dating, and, who knows, even marrying again.
You do need to be tactful about it, though. If you don’t have children, then celebrations are fine. If you do have children, openly celebrating is not a great idea. Still, many of the ways to acknowledge your divorce can be private statements to yourself that you’re ready to begin life again.
There is a time to move forward instead of looking backward. At Shepherd & Long, P.C., our Maryville divorce lawyers fight to obtain the strongest marital property and alimony orders possible. We work to obtain custody orders and child support orders that protect your children. For nearly 30 years, we’ve advised clients about the divorce process. We also work with psychologists and other counselors if you’re having emotional difficulties. To discuss your divorce rights, call us at 865-982-8060 or fill out our contact form to schedule a consultation.